My Two Cents: Marriage in America
So, this week I’ve been spending a lot of time on Twitter instead of Facebook because that ridiculous question and answer game everybody and their mamas was playing on there. I understand that games can be fun, but seriously putting all of your personal business and your true feelings about your ex out on Facebook for the entire world to read is just a bit stupid. You have people that you don’t even know on your friends list asking you about things that aren’t any of their business. Anyways, while I was on Twitter yesterday I came across a post that Eva Longoria and Tony Parker were calling it quits after seven years together ( three of those years spent married).
I was shocked because they are like the cutest couple ever and unlike some celeb couples they seemed sincerely happy and in love with each other. At first I thought this is some kind of prank, but after checking her Twitter page it was confirmed that this was no rumor. After, I read that I couldn’t even tweet anymore. A part of me was heartbroken and not because they’re celebs. I was heartbroken because it just seems that marriage is no longer regarded highly or something sacred and lasting in America anymore.
Just this morning, I read on Yahoo that 4 out 10 people said that marriage is being exstinct! That’s a lot once you think about it. As a married woman myself this is not exactly reassuring news. It does not give me hope for my daughter’s future either. What is going on that is making it so easy for people (men and women) to just up and walk away from their families? I’m even more puzzled as to what is making some of us to put aside the morals and beliefs to live as married couples but not be married?
Honestly, I can say that I don’t know what I was thinking when I decided to put aside my values and shack up with my hubby for almost 6 years. Looking back on it, I think that if I wouldn’t have moved in with him in the first place a lot of the earlier issues we experienced wouldn’t have been a problem. And we probably would have ended up married at least three years ago. I’m glad that I put my foot down and we had that year apart. Seeing the mistakes that I made, I’m hoping to be able to guide my daughter from making the same mistakes.
I truly believe that couples (not all) now days think that love is a cure all when it comes to marriage. And love does cure a lot of things, but it still takes a lot of other factors to have a lasting marriage. In my opinion, a lot people are getting divorced because they feel like they are no longer in love with their spouse and are claiming they’re not the same person they married x amount of years agoe. Well, duh that makes sense. As we grow older we’re suppose to mature and get wiser which will change who we are a little bit.
And thankful my parents thought me that you don’t just get married for love because love will never be enough. There needs to be mutual interests, security, and chemisty of course. I can sit here and say that I didn’t marry my husband just because I love him. I married him because he was financially stabled-he had his own car, his own place and a great job. He’s a good decision maker for the most part.
He’s a self-made man. He doesn’t allow himself to be defined by his past or materials. He’s educated. This man put himself through four years of college without family to support him and no financial aid!! I married him because he supports my dreams and my bettering myself. We’ve had some obstacles to overcome and probably will have a few more hills to climb as we continue our relationship, but the one thing we agree on is that we’re not going to take the easy way out.
We’ve agreed that whatever comes our way we’re going try counseling, therapy, coupless activity, pastoral sessions, etc to make our marriage work. Why? Well, marriage takes work. We have a realistic view of what marriage really is. While we’d like for everyday to be a walk in the park we know that it’s not realistic and so you have to have a plan. And our plan is that divorce is not an option.
The truth is that you’re never going to find that person that makes you happy 100 % of the time and ultimately you should never look for other people or things to make you happy anway. You are in charge of your own happiness. The people we allow into our lives are only their to share in our happiness.
We as Americans have to better. While most of us are worried about the economy being in depression, we need to be more focused on her personal lives and morals being in a depression. We need to go back to days when marriage and family were sacred and meant something.