YUMMommy

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  • NASCAR Friday

    Let me just start off by saying that I am not a fan of NASCAR.  I’ve just never seen the interest in watching a bunch of cars do a million laps around a track at the speed of lighting.  Now the need for speed I do get because I have somewhat of a baby lead foot. LOL.  But still it alludes me why so millions of people invest so much money and time in NASCAR. To each his own, I guess.

    But somehow, I got hustled into volunteering to be a chaperon for a field trip to the NASCAR Hall of Fame in Charlotte, NC.  Let me just say that I learned a lot and enjoyed the exhibits more than I thought I would.  The cars actually looked so much cooler up close and in person.  And the older cars from the very first races had all the scratches and even some of the dust still on the tires.  Although, I enjoyed looking at the cars and learning more about the sport, you won’t catch me watching a race any time soon.

    What I didn’t enjoy was the fact that the group of kids we were with totally embarrassed the hell out me and the other 20 something odd chaperons that were with us.  Let’s start with the bus ride. Our site shared a bus with another neighboring site and we all knew the first rule of riding on a tour bus, train or plane is no number 2 in the bathroom. So, why did one of the teenage kids from the other site take a number 2 before we were even half way down the road? Can you say stank bus ride all the way to Charlotte!!!

    We get there and they serve the kids lunch.  The table behind us was loud and rowdy the entire time.  The kids were picking fights, picking on each other, crawling on the floor like babies, etc.  We were in a room with the major of Charlotte (Anthony Foxx) and representatives from Bank of America, Wells Fargo, Duke Energy and other big name corporations with headquarters in Charlotte.  It was highly embarrassing to have kids behaving in such a manner.  Not to mention we had other schools and locations there as well and their kids were much more well behaved.

    Finally, we split our large 300 and something odd group into two smaller groups of 150 or more and head off in different directions to tour the museum.  Our first stop was to look at all the cars and learn a bit of the history behind them and the different race tracks across the country.  The first rule was not to touch any of the displays and number two was not to climb up onto any of the car displays.  Well, I found myself pushing down more than one hand from touching a display.  Thankfully nobody decided to climb up onto one.

    One of the other major problems we incurred were the kids wanting to stop and play every interactive game we passed.  It just wasn’t feasible and I got a lot of rolled eyes, neck yoking and mumbling.  It took everything in me to remember that those kids were not my own and that I could not pull out a belt on them.  Lord knows I wanted to.  (Spare the rod, spoil the child.)

    The most embarrassing part came when our very nice tour guide had to call security on our 150 group.  I could not believe that those kids would not get quiet and keep their hands off the stuff they weren’t suppose to touch. Seriously, they were causing a very dangerous situation.  We had kids from other sites climbing trashcans, beating beats out on the wall and yelling to their friends across the landing.  Totally humiliating to appear so helpless in public like that.

    And even with the security guards present some of the kids still decided to be loud and race down the stairwell to the theater.  To sum this up:  I will never volunteer to go with such a large and unruly group of children ever again!!  While I understood that the program they were in wanted to expose them to a great opportunity, I feel like many of them missed the point.  They were so caught up in trying to prove they were BAD, the SHIT or whatever that they failed to learn anything from this experience.

    Instead they made us look like the stereotypes that we are portrayed as in the media.  They are in a program that is suppose to be motivating them to not become products of their environments and they are doing just that and acting like they are proud of it.  Watching those children today, I had to wonder if there will be a future for them and if so what will it look like?  It scares me to think that they will be our future leaders when I am graying and old in my rocker.  I pray that God has mercy on us and opens their eyes to big beautiful world out there.

    I pray that more parents will take the time to teach their children the importance of respecting others.  Heck, I want more parents to start volunteering to go on these trips.  It was 100% FREE and half those parents weren’t working anyway.  We have to take an interest in our children and making them the future we need them to be. So, let’s wake up please.  I can’t have another experience like the one I had today.

  • Fashion Find-Faded Glory Flats

    Let me just say that when it comes to everyday shoes, I’m a Dr. Scholl’s girl at heart.  Those massaging gel soles just keep me on Cloud 9, especially since I’m standing or walking most of the day.  Top that with the fact that I have very flat feet and you know that no other shoe will do.  I’ve tried other flats and they just don’t give my feet the support or comfort that they need.

    The only complaint that I have about my Dr. Scholl’s is that they don’t last a long time.  And maybe that’s because I do more walking and standing than the average person. Anyways, my current pair of Dr. Scholl’s loafers started showing more than it’s share of wear and I was forced to head out in search of a new pair of shoes.  And while I love Dr. Scholl’s, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to spend $30 and some change plus tax on a pair of shoes.  I know I know $30 seems cheap, but hey I’m a single mom on a budget.  Not to mention I’m moving and have moving expense, rent and utilities to cover in two weeks.

    So, I decided to try a different brand.  As I walked the shoe aisles of our local Wally World aka WalMart, I stumbled across a deal I could not pass up.  Faded Glory flats for only $3.00!!  Now that’s a price that I can work with for sure.  I have to admit that I was a little skeptical at first.  I know that Faded Glory is a great brand when it comes to clothing, but I’d never tried out their shoes before.

    So, I decided to step my foot in a pair and see how they felt.  I was amazed to find out that the flats felt great.  They felt almost as better as the Dr. Scholl’s.  I mean to be a regular shoe with no special gel soles or anything, they felt incredible awesome to my feet.  I decided I would test them out a little further and buy a pair.

    Well, I am happy to report that it has been five days later and my feet still feel great.  I’m not saying that I won’t ever buy another pair of Dr. Scholl’s, but I’m not in a hurry to trade in my Faded Glory’s either.

  • My Weekend WrapUp

    Well, good news everybody…Moo and I are moving!!!  I am so excited.  This weekend past, we went to check out our soon to be new digs.  It’s a two bedroom duplex with one full bath, a living room and decent size kitchen.

    There’s hardwood throughout with linoleum in the kitchen and bathroom.  The master bedroom has two closets and a cute octagon shaped window.  In the backyard is an amazing deck.  I’ve already made plans to cookout and add some patio furniture as well as a few plants.  We have a clothing line which I will put to use in on hot days.

    Plus, I try to be as Green as possible.  Another plus, we don’t have to worry about landscaping.  The landlord handles all of that.  However, the down side is that beyond the backyard a pony.  He’s cute as a button but not people friendly.  Therefore, there will be no petting the pony.

    Another issue is that we will be the only Black family in the neighborhood.  The landlord has assured us that we will be welcomed warmly though.  I hope that he is right because I remember when we moved into an all white neighborhood when I was five.  We got all kinds of notes calling us ‘niggers’ and telling us ‘our kind’ wasn’t welcomed.  My mom did the best she could to protect us from the racism.  We weren’t allowed to play beyond the front yard for years. And most of our dogs ended up getting stolen. 

    But I’m hoping that since we are going back to the city, we will be living amongst more open minded white people.  They all seemed pretty nice as they passed us by.  They didn’t shoot us any nasty glares. Curious yes.  There is a great plus to living in an all white neighborhood here.  The crime rate is super low!!  It’s so low in fact that they leave their doors unlocked.

    Crime seems to be its highest in the Black and Hispanic neighborhoods here.  It’s a shame, but true never the less.  So, I am looking forward to being able to sleep peacefully at night.

    I’m really excited that I get to decorate and hang pictures.  It’s a duplex, but I look at it as an upgrade from an apartment and certainly an upgrade from my current situation.  I’m one step closer to home ownership.  I’ve been researching and looking into some low income housing programs.  And I think that by next summer, I will be ready to make a down payment on my own place.

    Besides checking out the duplex, I went to the mall with Moo, her daddy and step sister.  It felt great to be all together as a family.  Our year a part has helped us both to grow and mature.  We are co-parenting very well and communicating much better than before.  He’s learning to give me space when I’m upset and I’m learning to be more sensitive to his feelings when dishing out criticism.

    Sunday was another family bonding adventure.  We went to church.  And I’m happy to report that our new pastor is getting a little warmer.  I think that he’s getting used to us and likewise we are getting used to him.  Following service, we had lunch at my uncle’s church and on the way I busted my booty on that slick wet cement ramp. Talk about a pain the ass! LOL!  I’m still sore back there.

    While waiting for Jay to arrive, we watched ‘The Marriage Counselor,’ an original screen play written, produced and directed by the great Tyler Perry.  That man is awesome. He is taking Black cinema to places it’s never been.  And rumor has it that he is looking to take over TBS and turn it into the Tyler Perry Network.  I’m keeping my fingers crossed that he can strike some kind of deal with them.  We need more Black networks out there will positive Black shows.  We’re more than just thugs, criminals and baby mamas.

    Anyways, I think that my mom is finally warming back up to Jay.  She actually accompanied us to Rockingham and we had a lovely family dinner afterward.  So, here’s to miracles and God being able to heal wounds.  Looking forward to a wonderful week of packing.  Hope you guys had a great weekend as well.

  • Becoming a Better Mommy

    Ok, I have a confession to make.  I haven’t been the best mommy I could be.  I’ve been letting outside people and situations that don’t concern me drive me to a point of some much that stress that it started to wear on my patience with Moo.  I’m a fixer.  When I see problems, I feel the need to fix them even if they’re beyond my control.  It’s a horrible trait that I seem to have inherited from my mother.

    For years, we watched as she tried to fix my father and their broken marriage. It’s taken years for her to come to the conclusion that you can’t fix somebody who doesn’t love you and never wanted to  be married to you in the first place, but did so because his family forced him to make an honest woman out of you.  And yet you would think that when it comes to other things and people she would know not to try to fix them, but here she is still trying to fix her children, her siblings and the rest of the world.  And when I look in the mirror, it scares me to see that part of her in me. 

    You see, I know the cost of being a fixer.  You focus so much energy and positive effort on fixing other people and situations outside the home that you have no positive energy or time left for those in your home.  I could remember my mom being so patient and gentle with the children she came into contact with at the school house, but when she got home she was ‘tired of kids’ as she said on numerous occasions. It hurt like hell to hear her always telling us that.  And on more than once instance, I wanted to tell her to screw all those others kids because they weren’t hers, but we were!!

    Of course, I didn’t dare utter those words to her face.  My mom is more in touch with her Black side when it comes to parenting. LOL.  So, I knew better than to try her and showed her the utter most respect at all times.  I still show her respect to this day.  We disagree very often, but I never forget my place.  I am the child and she is my parent.  The Bible says that when we disrespect our parents we shorten our life here on Earth and I don’t want to cut mine short. Moo is my motivation to strive to live as long as possible.

    However, it is Moo that I has had to suffer because of the curse passed down from my mom to me.  It me earlier this week as I was rereading Queen Latifah’s book ‘Put On Your Crown’ that I have been a pretty awful mommy lately.  I’ve yelled her and lost my patience.  I’ve brushed her off and not taken the time to listen to her.  Why?  All because of stress caused by people and things that aren’t nearly as important to me as she is.

    As I read a story in which Queen talked about her mother, I felt tears well up in my eyes.  Mama O seemed like a saint compared to me.  The way her daughter spoke of her character and parenting skills reminded me that I had failed in mine.  But it also woke me up.  One thing Queen Latifah’s mom did differently is that she didn’t allow the negative to affect her in a way that she took it out on her kids.

    And I am determined to develop that same strength.  I might be a fixer, but no longer will I allow my curse to make me miss out on another minute of my daughter’s happiness.  I’m constantly reminding myself that Moo didn’t ask to be here.  Therefore, when I feel like I’m about to burst I need to take ten seconds to calm down and think about all the great things that have happened in my life because of her.

    My life truly is better because of her.  And I need to start back showing her that.  She deserves to have a mommy who is going to put her first and not second or third.  I have to admit that since reading that part of Queen’s book earlier this week, I have made progress.  I’ve been more patient with her and have made an effort to strike up conversations with her even though I don’t completely understand the words she says.  And guess what?   Her baby rage has gotten better too.

    This is just further proof that my stress was having negative effects not only on me, but Moo as well. These last few nights we both have been sleeping so peacefully.  This journey called Motherhood may not come with an instruction manual, but I’ll be damned if I don’t find the right parts to make it work.  Motherhood is tough, rough and unpredictable, but that’s what I love about it.  I find myself forced to rise to a challenge and I gladly accept the mission to become a better mommy.

  • Thankful Thursday

    We live in a society where so much is taken for granted.  Some of us walk around feeling we are entitled to world on a silver platter when aren’t already grateful for what God has already blessed us with. Open up your eyes people.  Our country is getting worse instead of better and it’s because we are setting positive examples.  Nobody is caring about their neighbor or even their own family for that matter. 

    As my dear friend Kenya Mack posted on her Facebook, “Each one teach one.”  It’s time to bring back the ‘It takes a village’ mentality.  We keep saying our children are the future, but if we don’t instill in them the right values and morals there will be no future.  So, I want to do my part of increasing positive thinking by starting Thankful Thursday here on YUMMommy.  My life is far from perfect, but Lord knows it could be must more rough.

    So without further ado, this Thursday I am thankful for:

    My Life: I know so many people who have lost loved ones this month and it makes me that much more grateful that the Man Upstairs has been gracious enough to let me see another day.
    My Moo:  Being a single mom is tough as nails, but I wouldn’t trade Moo for anything.  These last few months have been a battle field and I’ve come close to seriously loosing it on numerous ocassions, but the one person who keeps me motivated and driven is Moo.  I love that little girl with all that I am and will be.  I owe so much to her and am thankful that she (and God) chose me out of all the millions of women to be her mommy.  On the real she saved me.
    My Family: We don’t always see eye to eye, but we always have each other’s backs.   It begins with family and ends with family.  We are a village that has been tried many times, but has yet to be broken.
    Dreams:  I had once given up on my dreams, but I read something this past week that has renewed my focus.  I had forgotten what it was like to dream and aim big. So many people have written me off as so and so’s baby mama or the girl who came back home, but I am not defeated!!
    I came back home because I wanted a safe place to raise my daughter until she was able to walk and talk.  Living in the Queen City was fun, but when bad crime started getting alittle to close for comfort I chose to not be selfish and do what was best for my unborn daughter.  Heaven forbid I would have stayed and somebody would have broken into our apartment while her dad was at work and she was still a newborn.
    I would not have been adequately equipped to defend us.  So, it made sense to move home where my family was willing to help and come over to keep me company on those nights when we were home alone. And now that she’s older and can do a lot for herself, I feel better about apartment hunting in the city again.  I wasn’t staying in the hood before, but hey all parts of the city are getting bad.  More and more people are going into those good neighborhoods to steal and kill just because. But at least I’ve gotten used to the demands of being a first time mom and feel like I would have a fighting chance to ward off an attacker.
    My Faith:  I can’t say enough about how my faith keeps me grounded.  I love having something to believe in and a guidebook for how I should live my life and raise Moo to live.  I know without a shadow of doubt that without the Bible, I would be lost.  I’ve gotten lost a few times since I’ve given my life to Christ, but for the most part I am a humble servant for the Lord.  I try hard not to judge and to walk the straight and narrow.
    I hope that this post inspires somebody out there to remember to be thankful for all that they have.  And in being thankful, I hope that we will begin to change the way we think and the way we act.  Remember that change begins with you and through your actions you can inspire change in others. Each one teach one to inspire one!!

  • My Weekend WrapUp

    I’m back!!!!!!  I’ve had a wonderful and trying four day weekend.  I never thought I’d be kind of happy to see the weekend come to end, but I was.  My four day weekend started on Friday and it wasn’t all that bad.  I got to do some shopping with my mother, baby sister, niece and Moo in Rockingham, NC.  I was a little sad that we had to return our lovely rental car though.

    We had a 2010 fully loaded Jeep Liberty.  It was an eye catching shade of gold with glimmers of silver, rims and huge head lights.  The interior was all black.  It had Sirius XM radio, a cd player, a very spacious trunk (perfect for hauling diaper bags and other mommy stuff) and a roomy backseat.  For a whole ten days, we were in Car Heaven.  I think I fell in love just a little bit.  And while I knew our time together was limited, I couldn’t help getting attached.

    Oh let me just add that I love the new HP Photo Printing Stations they’ve put in WalMart.  Instead of waiting hours for pictures to process, you can upload as many photos as you want and have them printed or burned to a disc in as little as 5 minutes!!!  Awesome.  And greatest thing is that prints only cost $0.28!!  You can put all your pictures on a cd for under $3.00 and print from home if you like.  You can create party and wedding invitations, birth announcements, calendars and much more on those things.

    That is certainly my newest obsession.  I’ve already tried it out twice in one week.  As soon as I rack up another batch of pictures, I’m heading back for my third session.  I know it sounds a little crazy, but I enjoy being up on the latest technology.  And I’m one of those people who has like a million pictures in my phone or digital camera.  So, now I don’t have to get them all developed.  I can pick the ones I want to get made and put the others on a cd that can be mailed to family or friends and uploaded to my computer.  The cds are a great way to keep pictures too because computers crash all the time and in case of a fire or emergency I keep them in a box that  I can pick up and take.

    Saturday was a lazy day for me and the fam.  I helped my mom weed through her wardrobe and get rid of some of her older pieces.  I’m talking about stuff she’s had since I was a baby.  We’re slowly but surely trying to move her up in time in terms of fashion and technology.  She’s getting there a little bit though.  But I was actually proud of her for getting rid of over five bags worth of stuff.  I know this seems like a lot, but trust me she still has more that she could part with.  However, for now we’ll take any small victory that we can get.

    Later that afternoon it was discovered that we had left our steaks for the 4th in trunk of the car.  Needless to say the heat had cooked them and we had throw them out along with some other stuff we had gotten.  Let’s just say we learned our lesson about shopping and grocery shopping.  Your mind forgets that you’ve gone grocery shopping when you start to buy clothes, shoes and stuff.  Luckily though, I had steaks in the freezer from my last trip to the grocery store.

    Now, Sunday we got a new pastor.  And let me just say oh boy is he tall!  I’m talking Shaq tall people.  He’s relatively young, but I can already tell that he is one of those by the book, drill sergeant types.  I’m not so sure how long he’ll be with us.  I think that he will certainly whip our loose ends into shape, but I’d like to see him work on becoming a little bit more warm and cordial.  I take my faith seriously and if there’s a disconnect then I have no problems moving on.  But I’ll give him a month to really get a feel for how he is.

    I was also in charge of our firework show!!  I love fireworks too.  I know that I should probably to be over the excitement of such things, but I’m not.  I enjoy all things celebration related, especially fireworks.  We put on quite the show for our neighbors and the passerbys.  One of my sister’s friends even stopped by and burned Sparklers with us.  Moo chose to watch from the safety of the car with my mom and niece.  They love the lights, but can’t stand the sound. LOL.

    On Monday, let’s just say we were all a little stir crazy.  Day four was just  a little more weekend than we could handle.  Plus, the heat was blazing and not helping any of our moods.  My mom and I kind of got into a slight disagreement in which she said some hurtful things.  I just kind of listened and didn’t reply.  I’ve learned from my childhood years that it’s pretty much useless to answer to anything she says when she’s in her moods.  It only makes her rant and rave more.  So, upset and pissed as hell, I took off for a walk to clear my mind.

    I don’t know what I was thinking because halfway to downtown, I felt like passing out.  Pushing a stroller in jeans and heavy sneakers under a 98 degree sun is no joke.  I could have had a heat stroke but at the time it seemed worth it.  I feel like I haven’t been a burden on my mother at all.  Out of all of her children, I’m always the one she can turn to for help whether it be financially, babysitting or whatever.  So, of course I’ve written a little bit about my nasty split from a year ago that left me a little down on my luck, but I have to say that I haven’t been taking advantage of my situation to bum off my family.

    Yet, at times my mom tries to make me feel that way.  I have to constantly remind her that I pull my weight around the house and then some.  It is only then that she tries to apologize and come off her high horse, but of course her words have been said and my spirit broken.  So, I’m looking forward to moving later on this year.  I’ve found a nice place an hour away and it’s currently getting the last remodeling touches put on it.

    I can’t express how trying it’s been to adjust to being back home.  I thought it was going to be great because my mom is a single mom and I’m a single mom.  I figured we’d bond more and she said she would feel more comfortable with me staying with her instead of living by myself with a baby.  I quickly started to question whether she was really being truthfully.  It felt like a part of her was hoping that I’d decline her offer and maybe I should have.  But I’ll take this as a lesson learned.

    I’m getting back to my independence and my freedom!!  Glad that this chapter of my life is coming to close and that a new one is on the horizon.  Hope that you all had a blessed weekend and will have an even more blessed week!!!  Oh, congrats to Future Mama!!!  She gave birth to a beautiful baby girl this weekend!!!

  • I’m Going Places

    I would like to thank Ms Baby Plan for giving YUMMommy the You’re Going Places Award!

    She writes a very touching blog documenting her journey to becoming a mother called The Baby Plan.  I was introduced to her blog by Future Mama’s blog.  And I have to say that she is so open and honest with her readers.  Her posts don’t come off forced or phony, but intimate and sincere.

    I really appreciate the fact that she thought of my blog to pass this award to.  I am deeply honored and gladly accept it.  This is my Second award for YUMMommy!!! Part of accepting this award requires that I tell you guys where I hope/plan/want/will be ten years from now.  So without further ado….

    In ten years, I see myself as an established, multi-award winning, best selling author.  I will be the mom of a very busy 11.5 year old. (Moo is 1.5 now.)  And I’m sure you guys will be laughing uncontrollably about all of my adventures with her preteen issues that are guaranteed to follow.  I hope to be happily married.  Still on the fence about baby number 2.  However, I’m sure we’ll have a cute little Yorkie with nice exotic name.

    I want to be more involved with the community and see myself sponsoring charity balls, volunteering and mentoring other young women.  I see Young Urban Modern Mommies as a global foundation that will not only serve as an outreach to American moms, but those in under developed countries as well.  I see my fashion and jewelry line being a huge success.  I see my family and I living in our dream home.

    Most importantly, I see myself stronger and more rooted in my relationship with God.  I hope that in ten years I will have met a few of you in person and created wonderful friendships where we send each other Christmas cards and dinner party invitations.

    Now, I would like to pass this award to a few special blogs and people that I have had the pleasure of reading and connecting with.  I truly think that these people are going places to say the least.

    Kenya Mack: She is certainly going places.  She’s a published author who has mad skills.
    She is also a soon to be 1st time mommy!!  I hope to meet her in person one day because
    we have had a blast connecting through our blogs and via Facebook.
    Mommy Glow:  What can I say? Alex is an amazing young mom who shares about her 
    experience of having been a teen mom, not having a stable support system and co-parenting among other things.  This is a must read blog for other young moms out there.  I’m certainly looking forward to meeting her and bonding in person.
    The Soul Mom:  Another wonderful blog, I’ve had the pleasure of stumbling across.  She certainly has soul and passion!!  I even used one of her quotes as my Quote of the Day.  (Check out the top box in the left sidebar.)
    The Savvy Sista:  I enjoy reading this blog throughout the day because I get my fix about what’s going on in the Black community.  I mean she blogs about everything from entertainment to real life news and more.
    Haute Travels:  This is the Vogue of travel blogs!!!  Never has traveling been made so appealing.  I truly recommend this blog to all fashionistas and travel lovers out there.  I was actually inspired by Haute Travels to start doing a little bit more traveling of my own. The world is this big canvas waiting for me to make my brush stroke.
    Baby Makin{g} Machine:  I can’t really remember how I stumbled across this blog, but it was the very 1st blog I subscribed to on here!!!  I mean from the first post I read, I was hooked.  I admired the fact that Future Mama put so much of herself out there for readers to get to know.  She is much more than a blog/Twitter/Facebook personality.  She is an amazing person.  And I’m glad that I’ve gotten the opportunity to bond with her through her blog and Facebook as well as Twitter.  I truly hope to meet her in person.  I see so much of myself in her that it’s crazy.
    In closing, I hope that all of you check out the blogs I mentioned. I think that you will find that these ladies each have a story to tell.  And while they might be similar, they are oh so unique and inspiring.

  • My Weekend WrapUp

    My Moo has been officially dedicated to GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!  I’m so excited and happy.  Oh, this weekend was awesome, a little bit stressful and amazing all in one.  As you all know, Saturday was the BIG Day!  I was happy that my brother was able to make it.  This is his senior year of college and we don’t get to see as often.  However, he came him Friday afternoon and we had a blast.

    Saturday morning got off to an early start thanks to Moo.  She is an early riser for some reason.  I wish she would sleep in more.  Of course, I wasn’t really planning on sleeping in too late Saturday because we still had to make Moo’s gown. Yes, totally last minute, but not my fault.  Her gown was suppose to be made two days prior to this event. However, somebody (who shall remain nameless) decided to procrastinate and wait until the day of.

    And of course, that’s where my stress came in.  That and the fact that Jay and I had gotten into a rather unpleasant dispute the day before and he had said that he wasn’t going to come to her baptism.  So, I was on pins and needles waiting for him to show up.  In the back of my mind, I kept telling myself that he wouldn’t dare miss his child’s baptism ceremony.  Then again, I wasn’t too sure.

    So, here we are sewing, ironing clothes and curling hair.  Meanwhile, time is just flying by and before we know it it’s time to go.  Actually, it was past time to go.  We were late to venue and had to rush to set up.  However, we managed to get everything sat up on time.  And her father did show up.  I was thankful.  I want so much for him to win back my family’s good graces.  And I knew for sure that if he missed this event, his chances would be even more shot to hell.

    I’m a family person and it’s very important that we all get along.  He’s done some stuff in the past that has made my family a little bit cold towards him, but I feel like he’s trying to seriously turn over a new leaf, but only time will tell.  I’ve given the matter to God.  Whatever happens from here on out is in His hands.  Anyways, the ceremony was beautiful.  The gown turned out amazing.

    As you can see, we did not go with your traditional white gown.  No, I wanted something unique and something that paid tribute to her African heritage. Excuse the back pic.  She was having a diva moment and refused to be still.  Had to catch her at whatever angle we could. LOL.
    Anyways, I loved the gown and she did too.  In fact everybody loved it.  I can’t say enough about how happy I am to know that Moo is officially welcomed as one of God’s children.  My faith has always kept me grounded and gotten me  through hard times.  I very eager to help Moo establish an equally wonderful relationship with the Lord.
    Sunday went well, but could have been better.  I’m learning to not let everything affect me on such a personal level.   Hope you all had a great weekend.

  • Adventures in Potty Training: The Beginning

    Well, I think that I mentioned a few posts back that I was going to try to have my adorable Moo potty trained by the end of the Summer.  And I have to admit that at first I didn’t put much effort into it.  I know Boo me, but in my defense, I was just tired.  I had a lot on my plate. (Not really unusual.)  And of course, let’s  just face it, I was just lazy when it really came to the task at hand.

    However, I am happy to report that I have since recovered from my laziness.  I can’t say that I’ve taken some of the things that were on my plate off.  If anything it’s been quite the opposite.  I’ve actually put more things to my plate, but I will save all that for a later post.  The important thing is that we are finally on the journey to leaving behind diapers and saying Hello to big girl panties!  Now that I have taken the plunge, I’m truly excited.

    It sounds crazy but I am genuinely excited about Moo soon being able to go potty.  For starters, my diaper bag will be lighter.  I won’t have to carry a stack of diapers, ointment and all that other stuff.  I can just keep a few pull-ups in the car and I always keep wipes.  Second, I’m excited about taking her shopping to get her first set of panties!!!  That will be a milestone to write about in her baby journal.

    Every time, I go to Super WalMart or The Children’s Place or whatever shop I’m at, I can’t help but glance at the little girl underwear and wonder when my Moo will have a collection of her own.  My mom always says that nice underwear helps you to feel sexier and better about yourself.  Of course, Moo is too young to feel sexy, but at least she will feel good about herself.  She’ll like the big girl she tries so hard to be.

    This morning, we sat on the toilet using the Sesame toilet seat my mother got.  She did a little tinkle.  And then later on this afternoon at the office, she tried taking a poo on the toilet!!  That might be TMI, but I can’t help it.  I’m motivated and fully committed to helping her progress.  I’m learning that motherhood is what you make it.  And I choose to make my journey fantastic.

    I can either complain like I see so many of the other moms doing, but at the end of the day Moo didn’t ask to be here.  So, instead of viewing this process as a messy one, I’m keeping my eyes focused on the prize.  I’m also trying hard to let this be a positive experience for Moo as well.  If my attitude towards potty training her is negative or ill then she won’t feel motivated to let me know when she has to use the bathroom.  Instead she’ll be more content to urinate in her diaper and not have to bother me.

    So, I’m already on the hunt for a cute frog potty that we can decorate with her name and maybe some more frog stickers.  I’d also like to get one to go in the car.  That way I can get her used to going to the bathroom on the go.  Not to mention, I won’t have to put out a boatload of sanitizer and Lysol just make the public restrooms clean enough to go in. I can just lift up the trunk of our minivan and sit her on the potty. (I have privacy screens that can go around her potty of course.)

    I can’t wait to see how this adventure progresses.  Wish us luck!!!

  • Father’s Day Reflections

    I just want to say Happy Father’s Day to all the amazing dads out there who are doing an amazing job at trying to be in their children’s lives and handle their responsibility.  And even to the dad’s that are expecting but still being supportive on their wives or significant other, Happy Father’s Day to you too!  I have to admit that for me and my siblings, Father’s Day is always a bit bittersweet.  While others are out celebrating with their dads, we are left with a void and broken hearts over the distance and lack of involvement our father has with us.

    And trust me, it’s not because we haven’t tried to reach out to him because we have.  It’s just that somewhere over the expansive length of my parent’s marriage my father fell out of love with the Family Life.  Having been a teenage parent, I guess he always felt the yearning to reclaim his youth.  And I’m sure the fact that his mother died when he was 12 and leaving them with an abusive father didn’t help matters either.  In fact, I’m pretty sure the latter had a lot to do with it.  I was always led to believe that all my grandparents were deceased as a child. 

    It wasn’t until I came home after a breakup with the love of my life  that I found out my father’s father died when I was four.  And all those years, I walked around not knowing.  I was helping my mom clean out some old papers and stumbled across the his obituary.  At first, I didn’t know it was him.  I saw the same last night and thought it was one of my great uncles, but when I opened and started reading “He leaves behind to mourn his death…” and saw my father’s name, I felt a rush of emotion.  I felt hurt, sad, betrayed and angry.  Then remembering how my father told me of some the horrors they lived with their father, understanding sunk in.

    I’m not sure that I’ve still completely accepted my parents reasoning for leading us to believe that all of grandparents were dead, but at least I know why they did it.  They didn’t want us to be disappointed.  My grandfather wasn’t much of a father to his children and stepchildren and probably wouldn’t have proved to be much of a grandfather to his grandchildren.  From what I understand, he didn’t come to any of his children’s weddings, school activities or graduations.  He never tried to make peace with his jaded past until he was on his deathbed.  And even then he wasn’t very apologetic about the hell he’d put them through or the fact that he probably contributed to the cancer that killed my grandmother.

    But still here we are years later and still we ended up disappointed of sorts.  I’m not going to sit here and say that my father has never been there for me, because he has and if I truly needed him again he probably would try his best.  However, what I am disappointed at is that he doesn’t make an effort to call.  My Moo barely recognizes her own grandfather.  She’s seen a total of maybe 6 times since her birth.  And it took my father months to remember her name (the sad part I gave her his mother’s name for her middle name).  For months, I heard my aunts and uncles telling me how they saw my dad and asked about the baby and he couldn’t even recall her name.

    I cried the first time I heard that.  It hurt down to my very core.  I never felt so unimportant in my father’s life than at that moment.  I mean I spent almost three weeks of my pregnancy living at his house!  We watched kung fu movies together.  There was the night he went out and got us a 100 piece bucket of chicken nuggets from McDonald’s because I was craving them and my fiance had gone to work.  He gave up his room for me to sleep in and moved to the couch.  (My fiance slept in the other bedroom down the hall because my parents did not raise me to be disrespectful to their house rules even if I was grown and with child.)

    And I was pretty sure that in those almost three weeks, I had surely mentioned the name I was decided on and he seemed to recall it every time he rubbed my belly and cooed to his unborn granddaughter.  Thank heavens that Moo came out a girl because we had chosen not to find out the sex, but common sense told me that my mother had five girls, my grandmother had nine girls and her mother had mostly girls and I too would 99.5% most likely be having a girl.  Her dad and everybody else swore she was coming out a boy.  LOL.  Imagine the shock when she came out a girl.  

    I can only hope that Moo’s baptism will bring about a much needed change.  During her service I plan to pay tribute to my deceased grandparents and even insert a little reading about the importance of raising children and being their for them even when they become adults.  I hope that my father will get the message.  I know that he has done somethings to us that will never be forgotten, but at least we can all move forward to a place of healing.  I don’t want to have to lie to my daughter the way my parents did to me about not having a grandfather.  I pray that God hears this and throws us a miracle.