February 5th will always be a day of great sadness for my family. Two years ago, I lost on of the most important women in my life on that day. And everyday still feels like a struggle to overcome that blow. Then, last week my younger sister called from the hospital to say that my niece had passed.
She had gotten off from work that morning and noticed the baby wasn’t moving as actively as she had been inside womb. Since this is her first time being this far a long, she chalked it up to both her and the baby being tired. And I did too when she called and asked me if decreased movement was normal at 6 months and some change in pregnancy. I experienced a decrease of movement with both my kids as I got further a long.
There just wasn’t as much space for them to rock out in once we passed the 6 month mark. So, when she told me she was going to the hospital just to be on the safe side I reassured her that everything would turn out fine. I never in a million years thought she would call back 45 minutes later with the news that my niece had passed. I was beyond shocked.
I felt like there just had to be some kind of mistake. Hearing her crying as she told me the news broke my heart. I wanted to reach through the phone and comfort her. I wanted to ease the pain I knew she was feeling.
Last week was one of the hardest weeks of my life. Watching my sister in pain as she labored to deliver my niece so that we could bury her is something I can’t even put it in words. I don’t know how many times I cried or asked God why her, why now. Hadn’t our family been through enough?
The week before my last living great aunt on my mother’s side passed away and I found out my cousin is battling stage 4 breast cancer. So, the saying is right. When it rains, it really does pour. I just wish it had of poured on somebody else’s parade.
Tuesday, we laid my niece to rest in a small grave side ceremony back home. All I could do was pray and comfort my sister and her husband as they watched their baby girl being lowered into the ground and covered by earth. Again my heart broke into a million tiny pieces for them. Here we are a week later and already I can feel a little comfort in having had the opportunity to say a final goodbye.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that it wasn’t meant for her to endure all the things that life had to offer for whatever reason. I’m every more glad that my sister and her husband are finding comfort with this situation since saying their goodbyes. Each day my sister sounds better and better like her mood is picking back up.
Each day will be a new for us to either dwell in our sorrows or move past them. I’m glad that as a family we have chosen not to be overcome by grief.
A huge thank you to everyone who sent prayers and words of condolence via email, Facebook, and Twitter. They were extremely appreciated during that difficult time.