If there is one thing that motherhood is teaching me, it is that time is precious. Each minute or hour I spent doing other things that take me away from kids is value time that could have been spent playing cars with JJ or snuggling with Moo. It’s time in which I could miss out on an important milestone. And if there’s anything that watching my Aunt G brave her health condition has taught me is that life itself is too precious to waste.
I admire Aunt G’s no nonsense approach to life. She truly doesn’t have time for bull and takes no shit from anybody. She’s quiet and reserved but gives off this air that let’s you know she’s nothing to play with! I love how she’s always been able to live her life doing what she wanted. She’s not afraid to say no and not think twice about changing her answer no matter who it is or how much they nag.
She doesn’t those people or situations that don’t benefit her in some way (emotional, physical, etc) the time of day. And when she has something to say, she tells it like it is and to your face. Being back home has put a fire back under me to stay on track and live my life on my terms. I have only been given one life. Sadly, I’ve spent too much time already living the life that others have wanted for me because it benefited them.
I had my whole adult life planned out by the time I was 16. I knew what kind of career I wanted to have, the college I would attend and where I wanted to live. Somewhere between then and the present I allowed myself to get lost. I’ve found myself a few times along the way but in the end I’ve seemed to always get sidetracked by some scheme that pulls at my heartstrings. I put what I want on hold knowing that opportunities are probably once in a lifetime because of others.
And do you know how those people repay me? Some have acted like straight up asses, while others continue to be inconsiderate, unappreciative and nonsupportive. Well, it’s time for me to start acting accordingly. I’m taking a page from my Aunt G and letting go of those situations and people who do not benefit me or my family.
I’m getting back in touch with the 16 year old me and the plans that I had made for my life. I’m saying no to things that aren’t worth missing time with my kids. I’m rid of friends and family members who toxic and who only know me when they need something. I’m aligning myself with a new group of people. People who are about something and not just going along with the flow because it’s the road most traveled.
I’m ready for change. I crave it. I desire it. I think about how different my life would be with it. I dream about it at night. It’s just calling to me. And I think it’s about damn time that I give in.
I took a leap starting this blog. I took a huge leap becoming a mommy. And I’m going to take another huge leap by falling back in love with myself and chasing after my dreams. I may have to leave a few people behind, but at this point I am okay with that. I know that anything and anyone that gets removed from life will be for a reason. It’s lonely at the top except for those select few who stay loyal to you and God.
But the only thought that keeps going through my mind is that I’m ready to act accordingly and live MY life!